Loneliness is that state of voluntary or involuntary lack of company that is often associated discomfort. According to the Finnish writer Mika Waltari, loneliness is the heritage of adulthood. Children really need an adult to accompany them in their growth. This means having someone slope of one, who observes him know you are interested to meet their physical and emotional needs. In adulthood, if not treated oneself with the same interest, you can not take care of your own life healthily. Then prevail discomfort and loneliness, common cause in consulting psychology.
Soledad in the relationship with oneself
Like loneliness experienced when contact with other people missing, also appears when contacts and connections missing aspects of oneself, to aspects they may cause fear.
The more contact with oneself avoided, more tension and suffering is generated. It is common to hear "I'm afraid to be alone," this is the fear of finding oneself. Be well with oneself can overcome the fear of loneliness, which is the ideal place to meet in depth. The French moralist Marqués de Vauvenarques says that solitude is to the spirit what diet is the body.
The feeling of loneliness, even someone accompanied causes internal unrest linked to the type of relationship you have with yourself. This relationship is often full of demands that can not be met, leading to look so judgmental and intolerant, which means feel bad company within oneself. The fact aware that you can not be perfect aid to accept oneself, with weaknesses and shortcomings.
When the look is severe injury can trust in the good of oneself. This consequently increases the suspicion regarding the other, with consequent isolation.
Harnessing solitude to know oneself
To know oneself honesty, humility and courage needed. It's a matter of making the miseries own conscious, mistakes and all that displeases self or limits. At first this process may be painful to face the truth and assume it was inside. It makes us free and enables people look at others with more empathy and understanding.
Solitude offers the stage to know each other better. Healthy independence is when you need not have someone hold you, when you know live loneliness. That's when it really will be pleased to share life with another.
Soledad dependent persons
Dependents do not support loneliness and their goal is to be loved, someone to take them. These people have an internal void, a bottomless pit who want to fill but that can never be filled, always feel they are missing something.
Normally dependents doubt be valuable and worthy of being loved people. They dread the thought of knowing and reject the possibility of seeing aspects of yourself that you do not like, possibly deprive themselves to appreciate the capabilities they have.
Live positively loneliness
Solitude offers an opportunity to know each other better and improve the relationship with others and with oneself. So, enjoy others as well as oneself and be alone without feeling lost and helpless.
According to the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche 'worth of a man is measured by the loneliness that can withstand ": to live loneliness as a positive experience means being satisfied with yourself, enjoy the company itself and try to understand the inner world of one same.
Although the basic human tendency leads us to seek company as a way to ensure the survival of the species, you need to experience solitude states to establish quality relationships with others.
In short, the feeling of loneliness causes discomfort and is linked to the lack of connection with rejected aspects of oneself. But the state of solitude is a good opportunity to take up and face the truth that resides inside.