The specialist in Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapist accredited by Europsy, Esther Miralpeix, explains what couples psychotherapy is and what causes can motivate it.
Most common problems between couples
When communication fails within a couple, problems arise that affect the relationship; there can be arguments that lead nowhere or there can be silences that are no less painful. This failure in communication usually occurs because one of the partners feels that the other has "failed" in something. The loss of confidence and disappointment that the other causes us, if we can not dialogue, lead to a breakdown of communication in the form of discussions or silences and its worst consequence, the distancing that can lead to the couple's total breakdown.
We must also understand that the couple has times and moments that can test their strength: the birth of children, when children become independent, and so on.. Also circumstances of the life of each of the members of the couple (changes in work, concern for the respective families ...)
What is a couple therapy? Is a practical session done? Does it always develop as a couple?
When a couple decides to consult is because they want to save their relationship. Couples therapy is always done while the two partners are together during sessions that usually last 1 hour 30 minutes. The duration of couples therapy depends on the problem that occurs, it can vary between a few sessions or several months.
Talking with a qualified professional allows each one to share their feelings and points of view, but also to listen to the other's feelings and point of view. In the first sessions the therapist asks specific questions that help define what the situation is and set goals between the therapist and the couple. Each of the components of the couple has "its truth" and "its version". Throughout the treatment the therapist will help, with their verbal interventions, to approximate these two "truths" and that each one can tune into the "truth" of the other. Obviously, each of the two will have to make changes in their behavior, so that both points of view approach.
At what time is it advisable to go to couples therapy to solve the problem?
Normally, one of the members of the couple is the one who makes the decision to consult and tells the other. If both agree to consult, they will look for a therapist.
There is no specific time to make this decision that happens when the situation becomes untenable and painful and you do not want the break to occur.
What do you do when one of the two is not with a collaborative behavior?
Sometimes, one of the two is not willing to accept going through a couple therapy. In that case, it would be considered that the therapy was individual. The member of the couple who decides to consult will find relief to their personal situation through therapy, which will make them feel better, but also, by broadening their view of the situation through individual therapy, can produce modifications in their relationship of couple improving the relationship.