Overcoming low self-esteem

Written by: Neus García Guerra
Edited by: Top Doctors®

Self - image is the image or mental representation you have of yourself. It originates from the self-observation of their own experiences and evaluations of parents, relatives, teachers or friends.


The role of parents in self - esteem

low self-esteem in children Parents weigh heavily in building self-esteem, because they are the mirror where the child looks and sees himself. Parents return the child an image with which he is identified.

Winnicott, a pediatrician, psychiatrist and English psychoanalyst, in his work "The role mirror image of the mother in the family and child development" provides a description of how the baby looks at things in the environment and between them runs into the face of his mother. Winnicott asks What do you see when you watch the baby face of his mother? He sees the mother's face, looking. He looks at her mother's smile or the twinkle in his eye. The psychiatrist describes the face of the mother as a precursor of the mirror. When the child looks in the mirror he will be conditioned by what he saw when he stared at the face of his mother. Winnicott says that if the mother's face is unresponsive, then a mirror is an object to look and not to investigate "who I am".


Self-esteem, self - concept

People who are part of the environment influence the construction of self-image or self-concept. If you have a good self-concept, it is accepted and appreciated. You can take into account their abilities and use them and also be aware of their difficulties. possible objectives that can be achieved by effort is placed and manages to feel satisfaction.

Even if it is not, you can treat himself with severity and contempt. They can self-impose unrealistic demands, leading to recrimination for not reaching impossible goals, I staying trapped in a vicious circle, unable to leave, which confirms again and again that one is invalid and does not measure up.


Low self - esteem and superiority complex

Damaged self - esteem manifests itself insecurity, feelings of inferiority and low mood.

It has been studied that, in general, talk to ourselves constantly throughout the day. If this dialogue is negative, it is triggering negative emotions.

Many people have intense need to praise and approval, precisely because they need proof that they are worthy of being loved. This makes them dependent on others and there is an inability to rely on themselves. At the same time, the superiority complex is an unconscious mechanism, which try to compensate for feelings of inferiority highlighting those qualities that stand out .

The child who does not get what you need from your parents always supposed to be not worthy of love, rather than seeing parents in a deficiency in their abilities. This situation must be resolved to avoid being stranded, unable to pull the life ahead.


Resolve low self - esteem

It takes self-observe oneself is considering the reality that establishes requirements, if they are really possible and the findings that becomes one himself.

You can not change the world or people, but if you can take responsibility for how you feel yourself. It gradually changing the negative inner dialogue, self-image and lack of assertiveness in communication, given the opportunity to develop self-confidence.

Accept responsibility to fix what feels involves ruling out the idea that was caused, the fault of others and therefore remain passive and trapped. When one is not seen as the source of their problems, but it believes that the fault of the other, will not come to recognize the need for self-examination.


Face life with self - esteem

When a person has self-esteem issues, it translates into a lot of problems in various areas of your life.

Life is difficult, you need to be aware of it to face really. What makes life difficult is the fact that the process of confronting and resolving problems is a painful process. But the problems foster ingenuity, just because of the problems you grow mentally.

Fear of failure, pain or frustration tends to avoid the problems, trying to avoid suffering.

Wanting to avoid the discomfort resulting from face problems, we also deprive ourselves of the opportunity to feel our skills, resources, and growth potential of being able to congratulate. How often it is not started something considered unable to do so, even without testing. Needless take time, given the opportunity.

The feeling of helplessness is the desire to avoid the discomfort of freedom and therefore the refusal to accept responsibility for the problems and life.

Low self-esteem is fought with a brave attitude. Courage is the remedy for low self - esteem. Instead of "I can not", the "I will fail", etc.. try to face the problems and endure the discomfort involved.

*Translated with Google translator. We apologize for any imperfection

By Neus García Guerra

Renowned specialist in psychology, with more than 30 years of experience. Mrs. García Guerra is an expert in Psychotherapy by the European Federation ooo Psychologists Associations (EFPA) and Master in Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy by CEEP. On the other hand, he is a member of the Full Law of the Catalan Association of Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy (ACPP). He currently combines his private activity at the Center Sarrià, of which he is a co-founder, with his professional activity as a psychotherapist and head of teaching at the Public Institution Sant Pere Claver.

*Translated with Google translator. We apologize for any imperfection

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